Chalice Lighting by Rev. Peebles:
The sun arose this morning - did you see it? Did the groundhog see his shadow? The wheel of time is moving, and here we find ourselves, poised halfway between the winter solstice and the spring equinox.
We light the chalice of our enduring faith, bearing witness to the wonder and mystery of time and change and the circle of our lives.
Call to Worship by Rev. McGee:
Welcome to Team Ministry Sunday! And happy Groundhog Day! Do you remember in the movie, "Groundhog Day" that every day kept repeating itself over and over again? Well, the message of Team Ministry Sunday is that life isn't like that. In reality, every day, every hour, every moment is constantly changing, and we need to learn how to deal with it.
This morning we are exploring the topic of change and transition, especially as it relates to the changes going on in the ministry of our church. But the tragic loss of the space shuttle Columbia makes us aware of all the unexpected changes in our lives. We never know what joy will lift us up or sorrow will break our heart from moment to moment.
In this place we help each other to deal with the transitions of life, whether they be joyful or sorrowful. But we do not protect people from change. In fact, this too is a place where change is constantly taking place.
When you step into this sanctuary on a Sunday morning, you don't know what's going to happen, do you? Who moved everything around in here? Why is it different? Why am I different? Why are we different?
When you sit in one of these pews you are entering dangerous territory B especially the way they've been breaking lately. When you enter into worship here, you are agreeing to risk who you are for who you can be. This is a place where you will be shaken up, challenged, upset and transformed. At the end of this hour you will be different than who you were at the beginning.
So let's courageously enter into a time of change, transition, and transformation. Let's enter into the spirit of worship...
Homily by Rev. Joan Gelbein: "Transition and Change"
In October, I announced my retirement as of June 30. Now, what about thatY?
This past summer I came apart. Well, it wasn't as dramatic as that sounds; what I could have said instead is that I began to really notice the unravellings.
During my August vacation, I could no longer vacate! I wanted to be alone. I wanted to get my house in order. I felt puzzlingly withdrawn, and puzzlingly good about withdrawing.
But, no time for this odd behavior; no time to retreat -- I had to get back to church to start the whole cycle all over again.
When I got back to church, in early September, I suddenly became aware of what was going on inside of me, and probably had been going on for a while. I had started questioning what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. I had moved into transition and the reason for it took a while to surface. And then, it DID surface, seemingly out of nowhere. I had to face a personal transition begging for attention.
I had been keeping busy B very, very busy with what always seemed to me the most important thing I had ever done or ever wanted to do B being a minister B your minister B in this church. So much was and is changing in our church B so much to do to shepherd the changes.
It occurred to me that I am no longer vital to that change.
Change in the church has happened before, and will continue for years to come. I am grateful and honored to have been part of the continuum of the work and celebration of Unitarian Universalism in this special UU congregation.
Now, deep inside I am hearing my own voice saying, "this is enough; this is the right time for letting go."
Actually, I experienced a kind of epiphany - one that told me my ministry here had come full circle. The ministry I was called to do - which, on one level, was never fully expressed or consciously understood - was done.
Although not spoken, I came to understand that I had been called to be a steady and loving and enabling presence through a particular time of profound change in the culture, system, and identity of this church. I can see clearly now that we have come through that time.
In looking back, I think I've carried out my ministry well. The church is solid and healthy. The leadership of the church is in good hands, and UUCA's near future is already appearing as a direction that is exciting, and, with a relevance of purpose we've always wanted.
I have been so very happy with the Team culture and practice that has been intentionally developing in this church. I feel so grateful to be working with such talented and dedicated Teamies.
Abe has been a dear companion and challenging supporter through all of this.
It is time for me to let go B to hand over the leadership and creativity to others. And, it is time for me to let go and to turn to my own new order of things.
It's not quite comfortable to realize I'm officially an Elder, even a Crone!
The best thing of this whole retirement announcement is to be getting the feedback, or hearing directly, that, "Gee! Joan doesn't look old enough to retire!" Thank you! Thank you! You sure know how to make a girl happy!
And to those of you who think I do look my age, I say, "Thanks for not sharing!"
But, appearance aside, I know the need B for I've been there before B to periodically relinquish most of what I've depended on for meaning and security, and to move into a time of ambiguity and emptiness in order to discover the thread leading to a new life.
"Time is a dressmaker specializing in alterations," says Faith Baldwin. We go through transitions because we need to grow--- me, you, this churchCand so it goes.
A book was given to me, in September, by two of my dear mentors and guides, Michael Milano and Bob Rosen. It is "The Way Of Transition; Embracing Life's Most Difficult Moments," by William Bridges.
I underlined these words from the book:
"passive accumulation isn't the way that you learn the most important things that you know about the world. First you know, and then you let go of what you knew, or thought you knew. Then, during the neutral zone of the transition, you no longer experience the old reality and may feel like you lack a reality now or that your reality is confused or crazy. But that state also passes, and you return to your life again. Yet it isn't the same lifeCit's a new, transformed life. It's you-but-not-the-old-you. "
"The only way you acquire this kind of knowledge (which is called 'wisdom') to distinguish it from that which is acquired in the ordinary way is to have gone through a profound life-transition, or rather to go through a number of them in the process of aging."
So, that's where I am ..aging, in process of letting go of work that has defined my life, and beginning to feel what it's like to be in the neutral zone.
I've been there before and it was an emotional, scary thingCmostly because I wasn't fully aware of what I was doing. This time, I welcome the emptiness, the alone-ness, the temporary loss of identity, long retreats to touch the basics of meaning and purposeYandYpossibilities. I look forward to meeting "me" again, only different this time, and to be still enough so that I can hear a new direction bubbling up from deep inside.
Now, I want to introduce you to Bob Rosen.
Bob is a member of this church, and his professional life is spent in organizational development and leadership training; he has worked in business, government, and nonprofits, and in 35 countries around the world. His consultant group is called, "Healthy Companies." Bob's also an author, having written a few books on models of visionary leadership and interviews with visionary leaders. He has degrees in psychology worked, professionally, as a psychologist.
About 7 years ago, he volunteered his time to work with church leadership groups on a process to articulate the Mission of the church, and Vision for its future.
Later on, when I took a three-month sabbatical leave early in 1999, before Michael joined us, I worked with Bob as a personal Coach on my leadership skills, and preparations for the new Team structure of ministry. After the Team got started, and for the last maybe three years, Bob has worked, first, with Michael and me, and later, with Michael, Linda, and me B as a consultant to the ministers on the workings and relationships of our professional, intentional Team.
I have loved working with Bob from the beginning B he's challenging, affirming, and insightful. We always met in the morning, over breakfasts at the Silver Diner in Clarendon. Over oatmeal, orange juice, eggs, and toast, the magic of Bob's perceptions and advice has helped me become better in my ministry, and has contributed to the our Ministry Team being the high functioning entity that it is.
Here is the Wizard behind the curtain; the person who has been invisible to you, but has been a significant catalyst for the health and effectiveness of the ministry in our church.
Homily by Bob Rosen: "Breakfast With Bob"
Good morning.
My name is Bob Rosen. Like many of you I have a job during the week that I love, and on Sundays, I come to church to be refreshed and challenged. My job is CEO of Healthy Companies International, a company I started 15 years ago, to help CEOs and their executive teams develop the personal and organizational capabilities to create great results. It was in this role that found me at the Silver Diner one morning with our Ministers.
Each of us brings our accumulated wisdom and scar tissue to work everyday. In my work with leaders I notice a profound transformation going on inside of them and inside their organizations B changes in how we define leadership and in what kinds of leaders we need in our complex global world.
Put simply, we are discarding the myth of the individual hero-leader B the all-knowing, big brain at the top of a pyramid and replacing it with a model of collaborative leadership that recognizes the value of collective intelligence and creative interdependence. At the Unitarian Church we call this B team ministry.
Collaborative leadership B or team ministry -- is about a higher common purpose with shared values. It's about developing mutual goals and having authentic conversations around the table. It's about being teachers and learners B celebrating each person's strengths and shortcomings, sharing resources and yourself, being trusting and trustworthy, and believing in the Power of "We." That was our goal when we started our journey together at the Silver Diner two years ago.
As a psychologist my task was to build relationships and foster learning with our ministers on three levels: as individuals, as team members, and as stewards of our church. These are the three hats they wear everyday and to be a good leader they must nourish these roles alone and together. To do that, I had to be perceived as honest and fair, to listen deeply to their fears and aspirations, and to challenge them and speak my truth. I had to help them unleash their potential as ministers and leaders, and help them see that 1 + 1 + 1 = 10.
Part of our work was living and learning in the neutral zone B that place of uncertainty between the past and future. The neutral zone is all about asking the tough questions, traveling into the unknown, and listening to your inner voice. It's about taking risks and accepting your imperfections, and challenging each others' assumptions. Most importantly, it's about being courageous to know yourself, to love yourself, and to be yourself in the presence of others.
My job was easy. Not because of me, but because of them. It was their wisdom, their passion for truth, their commitment to each other, and their belief in us as a congregation that made my work easy.
On the surface, Rev Joan, Rev Michael, and Rev Linda are an odd pairing.
Joan was raised in a Jewish family in New York City. Joan is playful and cuddly, an artistic and good-natured soul. Relationships matter most and authenticity is her way of being in the world. As I have gotten to know her, I am struck by the fact that Joan is truly a Living Lambrynth B walking along the pathway of life B traveling into the crevaces of her mind, asking the hard questions, being willing to go down blind alleys, yet always saying hello to the people she meets along the way and keeping her final destination in mind. Less structured and directive than her colleagues, she leads through the power of purpose and persuasion.
Michael was born a Southern Baptist from Jacksonville, Florida. Needless to say, Michael is outgoing with strong ministerial skills and an unstinting enthusiasm for social issues. What strikes me most about Michael is he is a man of action grounded in deep principles. He sets high standards for himself and others and is a natural leader of people. His passion for ideas, his love of change, and his commitment to making a difference make him a wonderful catalyst for good. And whenever he gets too far out front on the diving board, he's willing to listen and course correct as needed. What every leader needs to do.
Linda is a woman deeply committed to learning and the truth. No wonder she is our Ministerial leader of Religious Education. Born in Nebraska, Linda is a practical, straightforward leader who balances structure with flexibility and knows how to get things done. What strikes me most is her multiple layers. Behind her take charge demeanor is a warm humanitarian deeply committed to children, the national church and the world.
Each brought their special talents and their unique shortcomings to the table and we talked about them openly. Over pancakes and oatmeal, we were serious and playful, supportive and challenging, and the spotlight frequently changed from week to week and from person to person. We were truly learning together. Over time the concept of team ministry became less an articulated goal, and more just a way of relating to one another.
Every time I got into my car to drive away I was struck by their commitment to live and model the UU guiding principles B celebrating dignity, being compassionate, accepting one another, searching for truth, and staying committed to living in a healthy community. This was never discussed as a goal or a deliverable. It was simply unspoken, imbedded deeply in their hearts and souls.
After 20 years in this field, I really notice a difference between the good leaders and those who are mediocre or ineffective. Good leaders shed light B on themselves, on others, and on the world. They speak to the bright side within us, the part that gives us life, that dreams what's possible, and appreciates the best of people and the world. The less effective are fueled by fear, insecurity, envy and jealousy. Their shadowed mind is arrogant, prejudice, and self righteous. And they cast darkness B by dismissing, disrespecting, and destroying the good will in others.
Reverend Michael, Joan, and Linda truly shed light on the world.
Now the Church is in transition. Joan is retiring, Michael and Linda will lead the way to our next place in history. We will get an interim minister and eventually a full-time minister to take Joan's place.
Transitions are always challenging. Whether as parents, friends, lovers, workers, or citizens in the world transition is all about following your path and your values, letting go when its time, being open to the neutral zone, and embracing a new tomorrow. I am confident that "team ministry" is firmly grounded in the foundation of our church as we move forward. The style and approach may change as the personalities change, but the fundamental spirit is here to stay.
On a personal note, it has been an honor and absolute pleasure to work so closely with Michael, Joan, and Linda. Each month I come away refreshed and inspired by the power of the UU way of life and the spirit of my new friends. For those of you that volunteer your time, you know so well that you often get back so much more than you give. That certainly has been the case for me. And today, I am a wiser teacher and a better person.
Homily by Rev. Linda Olson Peebles: "Change and Transition for Team Ministry"
It is said that no one likes change, except a wet baby.
That may be true.
But it is a deep reality of life that change is always happening, and
that it is an illusion to believe that there is ever a solid stasis.
Just as individuals experience life as constantly changing - groups
likewise are always facing the challenges of change.
Just this past fall - my son was married. He has brought a new member into our family - a new player on the team!
My 3rd and 4th generations family has many traditions that it loves especially around the coming together at holidays - where we go, what
activities we do throughout the day, what we eat!
Over the years, I've watch us keep the traditions, and the traditional roles, alive - even as we've had to adjust and make changes with the changes in the family team. When grandparents died, others had to take on their role, usually with some variation; when a brother died, his traditional activity of organizing bridge games was just ended. When children came into the scene, the location and activities were adjusted to include the ways to make little ones happy. When my daughter decided she was a vegetarian, the menu was adjusted. When my autistic nephews' special needs required alterations to our schedule, and the inclusion of more physical activity throughout the day - the family team shifted its game plan to successfully adjust to the new team make- up. And when a new daughter- in- law arrived, the team realized that sometimes she and my son would be with us and affect our day, and sometimes they'd be with her family - and that would change the team.
As I've watched the family team adjust to each change - now for 50 years - I've realized a few things.
Change will happen. And even when you don't want it to - don't invite change in - you know deep down that change is inevitable.
The key thing is how the team, the group, the family can respond to that change:
Moving on with the work that needs to be done, being open to the new players' needs and interests - and carrying on or letting go of former team members' contributions.
It isn't easy - no way! Usually there is denial or resistance; sometimes stubborn willingness to change. Other times, its just a matter of getting through the confusion or disorientation of realizing the change has already happened, and understanding what can be done to catch up. All of these responses are normal and to be expected.
Author William Bridges says that the way to successfully transition is to manage five steps:
- to be able to reorient oneself, to stop the sense of dizziness and figure
out where you are now;
- to have the capacity and willingness for personal growth;
- to remain authentic to your own and the team's core values and mission;
- to be open and creative and let new things happen;
- and to deepen your spiritual understanding of the nature of life.
Each Tuesday morning - over there in the Board Room - a team gathers here at UUCA. I've only been here since the summer of 2001
- but in that time I've seen both the continuity of the work of the team, and the changes and needed adaptation to changes. Who are we this
Tuesday? - Michael, and Joan, and me, and Bill Peters our church administrator, and music director Bob Griffith, the newest member of the team. Last year, Bob wasn't with us - but ministerial intern Henry Ticknor was. The year before that, Henry, Bob and I weren't in that room - there were others, there with Michael, Joan and Bill.
Even Michael, Joan and Bill - that marvelous trio - are a relatively recent team, in the 55- year history of this church. And even Joan - who has seen the team shifting and changing and growing for 14 years - at one time she was not here.
And still the table is set - the team members come and gather round, each with the potluck contribution of their part of the feast - each with their unique ways of playing and working.
Some characteristics of the team work will change when Joan goes - even as it changed when I arrived last year, and when Bob joined in this year.
What goes on? The work, the common endeavor - planning for, leading, and serving the church, this beloved community.
I am very sure that each of you are facing or will soon face the reality that the teams each of you are on are changing as well - your covenant groups or committees here at the church; your team of co- workers or friends at work or school; your family team of parents, siblings, kids.
The change is a sign that life is going on - it must. And you have within you the power to reorient, to grow as a person, to remain authentic, to be open and creative, and to deepen your spiritual understanding of the nature of life. May it be so!
Meditation
Let us enter into a moment of meditation, and silence,
followed by the
singing of Spirit of Life.
The words of poet Anne Hillman:
We look with uncertainty
Beyond the old choices for
Clear- cut answers
To a softer, more permeable aliveness
Which is every moment
At the brink of death;
For something new is being born in us
If we but let it.
We stand at a new doorway,
Awaiting that which comesâ_|
Daring to be human creaturesâ_|
Vulnerable to the beauty of existenceâ_|
Learning to love.
Homily by Rev. Michael McGee:
"Change and Transition in the Congregation"When I was in search for a ministerial position almost five years ago, I was eager to find a congregation that was enthusiastic about team ministry. I had served in team ministry in my previous church, and I wanted to build on that positive experience.
I have to warn you that seeking a team ministry position in our movement is like trying to find a Democrat in the White House these days. Not easy. But when I heard that the Arlington Church was actively searching for a team minister my ears perked up.
The decisive moment came when I met with the team-minister-in-waiting, Joan Gelbein. I had never met Joan before and though her reputation was stellar among my colleagues, I had to see if she was the kind of person I could work with for a long time to come.
It took about five minutes for me to realize that this was a match made in heaven. Before I knew it we were chatting like old friends and making plans for the future. I knew immediately that I would not only have a productive team ministry with Joan but it would be a wild roller coaster ride as well. And these past three-and-a-half years of working and playing with Joan have been immensely productive and enjoyable.
When Linda joined the team a year-and-a-half ago I was nervous that perhaps two was company and three a crowd, and maybe the magic would be diluted. But Linda only added to the satisfaction of working in a team relationship by bringing with her a deep wisdom, a multitude of talent, and a genuine spirit of collegiality. I feel blessed beyond measure to have danced the dance of team ministry with Joan and Linda.
But, as Heraklietos once said, "Change alone is unchanging... The beginning of a circle is also its end." And, I might add, the end is also the beginning. As Joan has told you, she is going through a big change in her life, which of course is bringing about an enormous transition in our ministerial team and in the life of this church.
Marilyn Ferguson has written that, "It's not so much that we're afraid of change or so in love with the old ways, but it's that place in between that we fear... It's like being in between trapezes. It's Linus when his blanket is in the dryer. There's nothing to hold on to."
We are now in that in between place, grasping in midair for a hand to hold, waiting nervously for our security blanket to dry. All that we have to hold on to is each other B and the realization that this journey we are on is a good one.
In his book, "The Way of Transition," William Bridges uses the archetype of the journey to express how we deal with change by moving through transition to transformation. He tells us that the journey "...is an image of moving from one place to another while also going deeper within oneself..."
The journey is also a metaphor for Unitarian Universalism because we believe that our task in the journey from birth to death is to continually grow in wisdom, spirit and love. William Bridges journey encompasses seeking a vocation, coping with the death of his wife, aging, and dealing with his own dying B a journey that is similar to each of our own. And on that journey he recognizes that "...journeys tell us about the unnameable nowhere that is not a place but a way of being."
I like that: "...not a place but a way of being." When you think about it, our journeys are shaped by the transitions we undergo. Isn't this true? What kind of a person would we be if we never had obstacles to overcome? What kind of relationships would we have if we never had to face problems and crises together?
We grow spiritually from our struggles. Our task is to use the obstacles that continually invade our lives as an impetus for transformation. "Transformation," writes Bridges, "is the true destination of transition... How transition does that is a mystery, but it somehow involves ... break(ing) through the barriers and realizing our greater potentialities, not by a willed excursion into new psychological territory, but by the willingness to view our own individual crises as critical opportunities to let go of who we have been, and to set forth on the journey toward becoming something more."
Our congregation is now going through a significant transition, a sad one in our loss of Joan as an active minister, but a hopeful one in the new opportunities before us. Joan is giving us the gift of making this a loving transition, but it is still a difficult one, nevertheless.
Joan has been indispensable in shaping team ministry in our church, and that will be a part of her legacy. We are committed to team ministry, but we must also recognize that our team ministry will never be the same without Joan. She breathed her life and love into it.
And so there will be changes. There will be transition. And there will be new opportunities to redefine team ministry.
I saw a sign in front of a church recently that read, "Change is inevitable, growth is optional." This congregation has proved to be immensely resilient and creative in the face of change, growing in spirit with each new challenge.
And now we invite you to join us in recommitting to team ministry not only for the professional staff but for the congregation as well. All of us together are a team ministry of Unitarian Universalists who seek to courageously be transformed by the changes and transitions of our lives and our world.
May we enter into this new era of the church with enthusiasm and creativity. And may we always be a church where, in the words of the hymn we are about to sing, we are "strong to keep hate out and hold love in."
Amen.
Benediction
Linda : Take courage friends: The way is often hard and the path is seldom clear.
Joan: Take courage friends: The journey goes on, and the stakes are very high.
Michael: Take courage friends: For deep down, there is this truth - we are in this together!
