Chalice Lighting Words
What is Life?
Life is:
A mystery: Unfold it.
A journey, Walk it.
Painful, Endure it.
Beautiful, See it.
A joke, Laugh at it.
A song, Sing it.
A flower, Smell it.
Wonderful, Enjoy it.
Precious, Don’t waste it.
A gift, Open it.
Love, Give it.
Unlimited, Go for it.
A candle, Light it.
Light, Shine in it.Call to Worship
Meditation
There is no need
to run outside
for better seeing.
Nor to peer from a window.
Rather abide at
the center of your being;
for the more you leave it
the less you learn.
Search your heart
and see –the way to do
is to be.Sermon -
As a congregation, we’ve been very taken up with the BIG Questions lately. Our sermon series, designed to explore 8 Biggies, is already closing in on number three, “WHY EVIL?” -- coming to this pulpit on December 2! Michael and I are endeavoring to deliver a sermon about one Big Question each month; the last sermon scheduled for April 28.
Michael tackled the first Big Question on September 30 – “Why Are We Here?” The 2nd Big Question was “Why Do We Need Religion?” which I grappled with a couple of weeks ago.
And, since then, a dozen or more Big Questions Covenant Groups, and the HUUmanist discussion group, have had time to talk it over in their monthly meetings.
Our minds have become full of profound thoughts, as we try to focus in on “The Big Picture” and place ourselves into it. Our dinner table talk has surely been weighty and impressive as we are in the process of discerning the meaning of life.
I’ve been giving some thought to the small questions! Are there profound thoughts we might similarly acquire through their consideration? Would such thinking help us also to see “The Big Picture?” Would our dinner table talk be enlivened?
Before this series began, Michael asked for written contributions from you, the congregation; listing your choices for what you think the Big Questions are. Many, many of you responded. Synthesizing the material was the next step, and Michael and I came up with 8 questions we heard over and over again in your responses.
But, it’s occurred to me that even as we’re working the BIG questions, life goes on.
I then said to myself that if I were to present this quirky corollary to the Big Questions, I probably should ask some of you what you think are the Small Questions. I did. I sent an e-mail to a small bunch of UUCA-ers out of my own e-Address list, asking for their wisdom. Several answered, so I am on my way!
Two people were taken with what occurs in the small world on the head of a pin.
Michael Milano pondered the old question of how many angels can dance on the head of a pin, but took he it a step further by wondering if it’s the only place angels dance. Jan Stoehr was trying to wrap her mind around how many anthrax spores can dance on the head of a pin.
Larry Bory and Trudi Olivetti had variations on the same question that comes up often in all our lives: Larry said, “What do you want for dinner?” and Trudi said, “What shall I make for dinner?”
There were also the usual questions on weight, health, and appearance. I think I won’t identify the contributors of these questions. It could be any of us. One man asks, “Why did my hair fall out?” A woman wants to know, “Where can I get a good discount face lift?” Another woman asks, “Why is it I weigh 134 one day, 132 a couple of days later, and 138 a few days after that?” A man asks, “How can I lose weight and keep it off?” And “Why can’t I stick to a regular exercise routine?” A woman wonders, “Where is the line between ordinary failing memory and the dreaded ‘Big A?’”
Michael Milano said, “How much is a pinch?” and Lindsey Harmon asked, “How big is a hug?” I think the two of them might plan to get together for a little field testing.
Diane Ullius also listed these small questions of hers: “Why do I talk to my cat as if she understands me? - Who decided that ‘smooth’ was a better look than ‘wrinkled?’ –for clothes I mean. --and-- When I say ‘Thank God,’ what do I really mean?”
Robin Brent asks, “Does our church have too many committees?” and Rom Wilder wonders, “Would it be OK to knit in church if I sat in the back row?”
Jan Stoehr asks, “Is it safe to remain in the Washington area, or should we move to Wyoming?” Gregg Forte puzzles over this: “Should I bother at all with the Stock Market?” I think the answer to both of these current concerns is in the question that Larry Bory sent: “Do you want to go into the hot tub?”
Cheryl Binkley and Dana Theus have family on their minds. Cheryl asks, “How can loved ones be so exasperating and feel so good to hug?” “Why do you need patience most just when you have the least of it?” and “How do you let your children be who they want to be? — and not make their successes and failures the measure of your own life?” Dana says that one of her major small questions is this: “Why do we find ourselves telling ourselves (and our children) the exact same thing over and over, for years, without much impact?”
Lew Stern wonders if there might be just ONE Small Question that would be the very most important of them all, and could be called “THE Small Question.” Then, he contributes these as possibilities: “Does the comma go inside or outside the ‘quotation mark’?” and “Exactly how long must one wait after eating before resuming swimming activities?”
Here are some of Mark Knight’s questions. They fell into three categories: practical, personal growth, and spiritual. His practical questions are – “What places would I like to get to see before I die?” And, “Do I have enough money for the last part of my life?”
He also probes personal developmental issues as he asks these questions: “With the sense of how formative the early years were for me psychologically, what am I doing to shape my son’s personality and behavior?” -- “What is the best formula for resolving interpersonal conflict?” --- and --- “Am I destined to turn into my parents (no matter what I do)? Will genetics win out?”
His spiritual questions are: “Am I consuming more than my share of the world’s resources?” -- “How can my values appear more vividly in my life?” -- and -- “Am I doing enough?”
Cheryl asks, “Was I meant to be here, or did I stumble into this?”
Alicyn vanDijs wrote this about her struggles with the “small stuff”:
“For me, the small [questions] are the little daily issues that keep me away from what’s important. Like why did I just get so upset over something like that guy’s driving? Why do I let certain people have my peace of mind when I know they always act like that? Why do I get caught up in little inconsequential details? Why can’t I be just more like a dog, happy and accepting of all that life throws at me. …. ? There are so many big things to worry about, yet the little things seem to take over. And, why aren’t there enough hours in a day to get all of this stuff done?”
Trudi Olivetti, on the other hand, said, “All we really have are the little questions, the matters that churn about in our heads all the time. They are what comfort us or give us fits, or give our minds something to focus on as we fall asleep. The asking and answering of such questions make us feel like we have some say in what happens to us. Questions like: What shall I make for dinner?; how do I look?; What shall I wear tomorrow?; Whose turn is it to walk the dog?; What is the answer to 13-across in the New York Times Sunday crossword puzzle?”
What a joy all these responses are – clever, honest. They reflect our struggles with everyday ups and downs that are funny or frustrating.
I, personally have a strong attraction to the small questions, the little details, the amazing layered richness of small moments, one on one, that is our ordinary daily life. I am convinced that meaning lies everywhere, in everything, in subtleties and nuances, and, also, that “Life” and “Truth” are really too much for any of us to become fully aware of.
I believe that there is never a once-and-for-all answer to most of our questions – big or small – but, instead, an ongoing process of realizing different levels and interconnections of evolving insights.
In other words, there is something to learn and discover everywhere, every moment. How much -- of all that’s out there -- each of us “lets in” is a different matter. Some can stand more of it; some less. We have to live after all; we have to keep moving and deal with an enormous flow of demands, needs, old patterns, new disruptions and stimuli, and an enormous amount of information. It’s better sometimes to laugh at it all and just get into that hot tub with Larry.
But, questions are our human life-blood. We cannot refuse to ask them, it’s part of who we are, and our curious minds range far and wide. We are always in conversation with ourself, -- why this? why that? – and many of our questions, often small ones, are those that can lead to deeper paths of self-knowledge if we follow them.
In a wonderful little book titled, I Will Not Die an Unlived Life: Reclaiming Purpose and Passion, Dawna Markova, the author, poses questions and invites us to do the same. “What are the courageous conversations you need to have with yourself,” she asks, “and how do you need to have them?”
Dr. Markova observes: “Have you ever noticed how you tend to ask yourself the same questions every morning when you wake up? --- “Where do I have to take the kids today?” -- “What’s the market doing in Tokyo?” – “Who do I have to call as soon as I get into the office?”
These questions are often the beginning of the tranquilizing spell we cast upon ourselves as we slip our feet into our comfy identity. We become who we’ve known ourselves to be—the harried Total Woman or the frenzied Entrepreneur.”
She suggests that the questions we habitually ask ourselves could be changed.
A poet was asked, what was the first question she asked herself every morning, and the reply was, “Who was I before the alarm clock rang? Who was the stranger I was in my dreams?”
The same question was posed to a successful businessman. He said the first question he thought of before he got out of bed was, “What problems are waiting for me to solve today?”
You can be intentional about the first question of the day. Pick one that can help you know yourself better; a new question. How about this one that the poet Mary Oliver raised: “What is it that you want to do with the one, wild precious thing called your life?”
We need to ask ourselves some new questions, but new questions are, or can be, dangerous. “New questions can lead to new ways of perceiving, and new perceptions can lead to new explorations of our world.”
Come to the edge! --The growing edge.
“All new and original thought begins with a question” – perhaps a small question – “which leads to an exploration.” “I wonder how this would work…?” “I wonder how that would look…?”
If you want to get to know yourself better through your questions, I would suggest you try this exercise of self-discovery that Dawna Markova did while on a personal retreat. After a couple of weeks, she began to notice how many questions were, as she said, “flying around the rooftops of my mind. So I dumped every one I could find onto a very large piece of paper.”
Thirty questions later, she realized what she had written were just the usual ones she had been waking up with for months. She went on, pouring out the questions; questions that were true for herself.
Between questions 30 to 60, she began to notice themes, like “relationships.”
She went on to write out one hundred questions, going deeper, with each one, to the core, to the place of Being.
Then, she worked to condense the questions down until she had the ones compelling enough to “evoke [her] mind into wonder.” Those were the new questions that she would ask herself every morning, and live with every day.
One of the questions that became a focal point for her, was, “How do I live divided no more?”
She drew the images that came to mind as she asked it. She spoke it as a mantra, she wrote it down before she went to sleep. She thrived on the drawings, stories, and dreams that grew out of the questioning.
Markova sent a letter to several friends, telling them about her process and asking each of them to send her the evocative question that was currently the axis of their life.
Here are some of those questions she received, each from a different friend:
“What do I have to believe about death to fully celebrate life?”
“What’s down this road, and who is doing what to whom?”
“Where does my gift end?”
“Will I have the guts?”
“When I am working, what do I think I am working on?”
“Is what I’m choosing full of life and energy?”
“How do I live in a way that brings out the best of who I am?”
So, I ask you, to do the same: After allowing yourself the solitude and time to create a list of 100 questions, which would you pick out as being those that reside at your growing edges at this time in your life?
Each of us will have to learn to “float” in the space between our important questions, whether big or small, because they can’t be completely answered, and they go on and on.
You may never know the meaning of life, but you can engage in inquiry with who you are and what you are becoming.
At the end of Dawna Markova’s book is this lovely wish she has for us; it is mine as well:
I send you the solidarity of these ancient mountains, the width of a blue-violet sky that can hold four weathers simultaneously, the peace of dormancy under a thick winter snow, and the sweetness of spring burgeoning through a thawing soil.
Let us swing wide all the doors and windows
of our hearts on their rusty hinges
so we may learn how to open in love.
Let us see the light in the other and honor it
so we may lift one another on our shoulders
and carry each other along.
Let holiness move in us
so we may pay attention to its small voice
and give ourselves fully with both hands. --amen
Benediction
