Unitarian Universalist Church of Arlington, VA

A diverse, welcoming community of open hearts and minds since 1948

Eye-Rolling and/or What?

I've been mulling over feelings about "white privilege" and I'm confused. I hear people (of various colors) say that UUCA white people sometimes "roll their eyes" at mention of white privilege.

Why? I wonder. (My dear Seattle friend Pat would say "But who can POSSIBLY understand what's going on in your shriveled little brain?" We talked like that. I miss her. More on shrunken brains below.)

Then I ask myself what issues cause ME to roll MY eyes, so say silently "Not THAT again!"

Here's what: I just can't stand the idea that I should "be proud of" my own "white identity," as people (of various colors) have urged. Please. I've worked too hard for too many years to develop a multicultural identity and solidarity. Can't turn me 'round on that one.

But I've been scared to say that out loud. I suspect that some people are scared to say they're tired of hearing about white privilege. So we all roll our eyes and shut up.

Maybe instead we should ALL try some compassion for ourselves and one another. Sometimes I think we mostly hurt ourselves by hiding our "bad" feelings about big issues. We stifle our dissents from UU orthodoxy. Why? We're scared, and fear shrivels our brains (that's a proven neurological fact.)

Do some of our white members really DOUBT that white privilege exists? Nah. We KNOW it's been easier for us whites to get good educations, jobs, mortgages, insurance, health care, and deference from the police. I mean, we're not STUPID, right?

My alternate theory is that we're suspicious whenever ANYBODY tries to get ahead—or get even—by calling for fair treatment and equal opportunity. I suspect we don't believe there's ever "enough" for all people—enough power, status, wealth and happiness. We're scared of what equality would mean.

This is not a silly fear, and it's not just a problem for white folks. The planet can't support all its billions of people at the standard of living we're used to here. Most of us don't want to live on the $1 per day income of one billion of Earth's people.

Even in America, the extremes of wealth are—extreme. The median white American household has something like $100,000 in net assets—home equity, car, etc. The median African- or Hispanic-American household has about $4,600 in net assets.

So losing "white privilege" might not be comfortable. Unless we could make the leap to a multicultural identity and solidarity. A community where everybody has "enough" and nobody has "way too much" or "hardly anything at all." A community where we agreed to help each other out whenever illness or unemployment or bad luck meant "not enough" for somebody?

I'm not scared to say I'd like to explore that possibility.

Tags: UU, fear, identity, multicultural, orthodoxy, privilege, race, white

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Comment by June Herold on April 29, 2010 at 3:43pm: Thanks Cynthia. Your blog is thought provoking. So much so that I think there's a tie, at least in my mind, between our multicultural aspirations and opportunities to re-examine how live in and on our church property. I've written these thoughts in a post in my blog. I don't want to weigh down the comment boxes here.

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